“My milkshake
brings all the emotionally dysfunctional narcissistic junkies with mummy issues
to the yard…” (Chuckles) That is actually very funny. Gallows humor is my
forte…it’s actually how I deal with sad pathetic issues in my life. I cry,
drink, laugh, dance, and maybe visit the planet of sexual delinquency then get
on with my life.
All
relationships are trial and error from the start…mostly error. The only
templates we have are women advice columns and our parents (rolls eyes). We have been raised to objectify each other
and do the same for the relationships we are in. unhealthy relationships are
baked into us as we grow up…and they could get toxic overtime.
Oh so before your relationship turns you into
Ms. NAGatha Christine, the secretary of NAGriculture, here are some
few…precious time & life saving tips to help you know if you need to crawl
out of that pain cave masquerading as a love nest or fix it.
1. When your dressing is bland. I know, it is
the small things. Young vivacious women love to get gussied up. It’s the
positive affirmation we receive from people around us that fuel all that energy
and excitement that goes into spending hours before the mirror. Negativity does
not make you feel sexy!
2. Losing weight. Yes, living constantly on
edge can override feelings of hunger. This can also result in episodes of
insomnia because your mind is not at peace.
3. Having so much sex because it’s the only
way you feel connected. Sex is a distraction; it creates illusions of intimacy
and normalcy.
4. When you do not feel like yourself and you
are constantly adjusting yourself to please your partner or you’re scared of
retaliation. Living stifled in self-judgment and tension and denying what is
natural to you.
5. Feeling like you cannot do anything right.
Your partner takes any opportunity to put you down and renders well calculated
blows to your personality. Every day is a struggle and it seems like they are
always raising gripes about you. The only time you feel pardoned is when you
are agreeable or adopt the traits the person find…pleasing.
6. Chronic dependency. Cute at first then
suddenly you feel anxious about taking some time off to be with family or
friends. Scared things will not be the same when you get back. Not secure
enough to put your phone down and potentially miss a few calls and texts
without risking an industrial size tantrum.
7. Keeping score of past mistakes and
constantly dredging up this bitterness and guilt from the past to justify
current righteousness.
8. When your partner holds you responsible for
all their emotions and it is expected your life revolves around their emotional
well-being and vice versa. It’s a subtle form of selfishness. The OCCASIONAL
lash out and irritability after a shitty day at work is allowed but every damn day…You
will grow resentful bitter and manipulative towards each other’s desires.
9. Relationship hostage. Threating the
commitment of the whole relationship when there is a minor hiccup in the flow. Always
threatening to leave when you have a tiff.
10.
Passive
aggressions; instead of stating clearly why they are upset, your partner finds
ways to try make you figure it out for yourself. Nudging you in the right
direction with mean hurtful comments.
11.
When
they feel superior to you and they act like they are parenting you.
Reprimanding and scolding you in private and even in front of friends. Intimidating you with looks, gestures and
actions like smashing things. Their irritability and rage happen unexpectedly
and sometimes they won’t tell you why. Defining the relationship roles and
being all rigid about them, Making light of thin veiled insults and attacks on
you, by making you feel like you’re being overly sensitive and immature when
you voice concerns about it. Using hurtful words to communicate their own hurt
and frustration.
12.
When
you feel like you need a translator to communicate with each other
Do
not let the effects of misery settle into depression. Let go. Even when you feel a sob rolling up,
certain she is one orgasm away from what she thinks is true love, but is really
just some crazy case of lust transformed by a crisis situation. Let it go. Love
has many languages and pain is not one of them.
Maybe
next time I should write on how to fix what’s broken…but no…too exhausting
hehehe
